In this post we will be exploring the minds of 13 individuals with anxiety. Read with caution, as some responses could be triggering. I thank these individuals from the bottom of my heart for sharing a bit of their world with me. Let’s keep the conversation about mental illness alive and end the stigma surrounding it!
What is Anxiety?
Anxiety is a normal part of life. Everyone experiences occasional anxiety during their lifespan. Some people, however, experience anxiety that can be debilitating. When anxiety starts to interfere with everyday activities, you may be facing an anxiety disorder. Anxiety-related disorders covers a broad spectrum of psychiatric disorders, and can be split into 3 different categories:
1. Anxiety disorders: Characterized by a general feeling of excessive fear and/or anxiety and can have negative behavioral and emotional consequences.
2. Obsessive-compulsive and related disorders: Characterized by obsessive, intrusive thoughts that trigger related, compulsive behaviors. These behaviors are performed to alleviate the anxiety associated with the obsessive thoughts.
3. Trauma/stressor related disorders: Related to a specific experience of a trauma or stress.
In this 3 part series we are going to look into different questions revolving around anxiety. You will read first-hand experiences from individuals coping with anxiety disorders. Their disorder does not define them, but it does shape a bit of who they are. Anxiety does not discriminate. It doesn’t care what age, gender, race, or profession you hold. The people interviewed for this series are successful adults. They all have different backgrounds and lives, but the constant here is diagnosed anxiety.
Today's question:
What events/situations trigger your anxiety?
Anxiety manifests differently for everyone. Different events can trigger people to spiral into panic. Situations that affect people may be linked to something from their childhood or could be completely and seemingly random. From all the answers I received on this question, I found some themes and repetitive answers, but mostly it was very individualized.
Many answers revolved around relationships, social situations, and the unknown of other people’s thoughts…
“Social events trigger my anxiety, despite the fact that I love people. Even my own family, I get anxious if there’s going to be more than a few select people. I am constantly worrying that I am making myself look like a fool, even if I’m doing something as normal as riding the train to school. Anything that might even somewhat resemble conflict sends my anxiety over the edge, to the point that I struggle speaking up for what I want or need. I have really been trying to pinpoint my exact triggers since my official diagnosis last year, but it seems to be so all over the place and constant that I struggle really figuring out exactly what they are.”- Carley D.
“Some triggers include the unknown or drastic changes in my every day life. The event of people “ghosting” or leaving your life without any real reason can also be a huge trigger – the unknown of what someone thinks. Sometimes there is no real reason that you can pinpoint – which is even worse.”- Heather Riviere-Piehl
“I mostly live with a constant amount of anxiety, sometimes it’s dull, but its still there. Certain events can definitely cause it to rise, but there are so many different situations that affect it. Every situation I’m in raises my anxiety, but to different levels. Making plans with friends might sound fun, and yes I want to do it, but I can’t help but think of everything that could go wrong. Airports and travel heighten my anxiety the most. Large crowds, loud noises, too much stimulation to my senses always has me on edge. When I fail to compartmentalize aspects of my life, anxiety hangs around for quite some time. It feels like a jumbled mess in my head and that I’m failing at everything, when in reality maybe I am just failing at 1 or 2 things.” -Emily Nalbach
“Large crowds will trigger my anxiety. Not getting along with a loved one. If something is wrong in my relationship….THATS A HUGE TRIGGER”- V.H.
“Sometimes it’s mundane things like a big party, other times it’s been big life events like having my first child. Ultimately, I believe, in retrospect, I’ve always been an anxious person, and it doesn’t take much to trigger my anxiety. Anxiety feels to me that’s it’s woven into my DNA. It’s just always there, you know? But in terms of consistent events or situations that will trigger my anxiety, I would say socializing in large groups of people, having to give presentations at work, being out in public to some extent, and any situation that doesn’t have structure or that I’m not in control of (I mean, this is LIFE essentially right?).” -Jennifer Moses
A messy schedule and the stress of punctuality also seemed to be referrred to often…
“Too crowded of a schedule causes panic. I am a very detail-oriented person, with multiple weekly planners. If I don’t feel like I can organize everything that needs to be done it causes me to have a dull sense of panic for the entire week.”- Emily Nalbach
“A former trigger of mine which has subsided with a lot of therapy and toolkit practice is time. Running late/not being on time/someone else being late/ just time. This used to create so many problems for me and sometimes still do.”- Jo C.
“I’m currently planning a wedding which has created a lot of anxiety for me. Just every day worrying, if that make sense. I’m also very routine driven and a big planner so if things are out of the norm my anxiety tends to be a little higher than normal days.”-Bethany O.
“Stress is my biggest trigger of anxiety. I hold the stress of others quite a lot so if there are a lot of people in my life that aren’t doing okay it’s like my mind manifests it as my problem and doesn’t know how to fix it. I also get stressed out by disorganization, lack of order, or having too many things on my to do list.”- M.D.
Another theme seemed to be centered around driving or medical issues.
“When I first started working with a therapist, my biggest anxieties were around driving, anything medical related (for myself or for my pets), and food. I would feel incredibly anxious any time I drove, especially if I was taking a longer trip to see family or friends. I was worried about getting in an accident, or the possibility of my car breaking down. The entire time I drove my mind would race as I worried about every possible disaster that could befall me. All of that derived from the core belief that I was not a capable person, something that was brought about by childhood trauma.” – K.K
“Driving on a highway is part of life, and yet I can picture every possible negative scenario that could happen. I can see cars veering into me, a semi not seeing me…sometimes it would get to the point where I would just have to pull over.”- Emily Nalbach
“When it comes to the medical stuff… I wasn’t exactly a hypochondriac, but every little physical ailment that came up would put me in a tailspin–“Oh my god, I’m going to have to go to the doctor, I can’t afford that. I’m going to miss work because I’m sick, I can’t afford that.” None of those things were true for me!”- K.K.
“One of my triggers has to do with blood/injury. If I think about something like that too intensely, it will trigger my anxiety. I can still hunt and process deer but I do have to be mindful of my thoughts. Another note, I have several stomach issues, IBS/SIBO, it seems that when my gut issues are frequent, then I my anxiety is equally just as bad.” -Dallas D
Sometimes it is a specific event from your past that can shape what you’re anxiety looks like…
“All of my food related (anxiety) issues came from my childhood. The main source of the problem was that every time I ate with my family, I ate as quickly as possible in order to get away from the kitchen table and go back to my bedroom. I had no idea what my food tasted like and what I really liked to eat. I didn’t know what hunger and fullness felt like at all. And anytime I felt any kind of anxiety, which for me is usually felt in my gut, I used food to get rid of the feeling. So I guess my pattern is crappy childhood situations not preparing me emotionally to be a human being.”-K.K
“I didn’t use to have any anxiety at all. That all changed in 2016. I was sitting in my general nutrition class in college, my college professor was an older gentleman. He was talking about his heart issues, specifically having a heart catheter placed. I sat there imagining what it be like to have that done, that’s when it hit. I started feeling extremely nauseous, weak, and I had cold sweats. I left that room quickly and went to the restroom. I splashed cold water on my face and looked in the mirror wondering what the hell was going on. I felt like I was going to pass out, as if I was losing a large amount of blood. I decided to lay in the floor of the hallway for about 5 – 10 minutes. The feeling slowly went away but the shock of the whole experience lingered. Now mind you I have never had any anxiety issues prior to this event.
The next major anxiety attack did not occur until 2017. I was sitting at a local barber shop when the same feeling hit. I had to leave the barber shop early and go sit down. Again, I am not sure what triggered it, maybe the barber was getting too close to my face with the sharp scissors or maybe I just felt trapped. Nowadays I have had small anxiety attacks triggered by crazy stuff. Sometimes if I get stuck in traffic I will have an anxiety attack, I have had them in the gym, while I was in the woods hunting, hell I have even had them while getting ready to fall asleep in my own bed. One of my triggers is being trapped. If I feel trapped or stuck somewhere in anyway it may trigger an anxiety attack.” -Dallas D
Possibly the biggest theme was NOT BEING IN CONTROL.
Reading through all the responses, I could feel the fear of not being in control. In medical situations you lose your control. In social situations you are at the mercy of others and their thoughts. When your schedule is too full, you lose structure and control. Feeling out of control is the basis of each answer, which I find interesting. People with anxiety tend to be seen as over-achievers, detail-organized, maybe even considered perfectionists. The fear of losing control or failure seems to be present with almost all those with anxiety.
“My anxiety is triggered, at its most basic, anytime I feel hopeless and massively out of control *whether I am or not*. This could be from a lack on information/understanding (see my recurring since I was 5 years old anxiety about death) to a situation I am not inherently in charge of that is going awry and I am no position to take over control. Little to no control situations that can trigger anxiety for me include the fact that I have zero ability to actually protect my loved ones, those in my life who I deem essential to my continued existence. Try as I may, the world cannot be controlled which means there are always things that can happen that will impact someone important to me and I have no control over any of that.” -Jo C.
“My battle with anxiety spans over 30+ years. There are times of no anxiety for years then BAM it happens. The events usually are triggered by crowds, loud noises, new places, medical procedures, other people seeing me have an anxiety attack, letting people down; basically anything that I cannot control. Anxiety returns when there is a lot going on in my life. Fear of not being “perfect” or able to “handle” things consume my thoughts . It is very hard to plan things when dealing with anxiety. The further away an event is planned means a longer time to think about all of the things that could go wrong which in turn causes more anxiety.” -C.W
What I've Learned
From all these answers and life experiences shared with me, I did see some tools come out of them that seem helpful! Most people were able to pinpoint certain things that make their anxiety rise, which is the first step. Others shared important tools they’ve learned while dealing with their anxiety…
“My ability to step in and control a situation is actually a very big strength of mine. I am incredibly good in a crisis and in those situations that need it, I am about 15 steps ahead of everyone else so can help guide a crisis… My college therapist helped me through my constant cycle of “what-if-ing” but there are still situations (see global pandemic) where all of my tools fail me… But I have my tools and strengths that I have built up over a decade + of therapy and that helps a LOT.” -Jo C.
“To help with childhood trauma my therapist taught me how to change my self-talk and re-write my narrative. Whenever these anxieties come up for me now (which is rare, but it still happens occasionally), I remind myself that I am a capable person, and if something happens I have the skills I need to deal with it. Again, dealing with my triggers came down to working on self-talk and assuring myself that I am safe and that if something does come up that I can take care of myself.” -K.K.
Because each person is so different, it’s impossible to say that there is a definitive answer to what causes anxiety in each individual. There are definite patterns when it comes to events that trigger anxiety, but it is different for each person.
I hope that this series will help people without anxiety understand a little bit more about what it’s like, and I also hope this shows people dealing with anxiety that THEY ARE NOT ALONE.
Check Back Next Week For Part 2: What does your anxiety look and feel like to you?
If you would like to share your experiences with anxiety or be a part of The Many Faces of Anxiety, email Emburnfitness@gmail.com