In this post we will be exploring the minds of 13 incredible individuals with anxiety. Read with caution, as some responses could be triggering. I thank these individuals from the bottom of my heart for sharing a bit of their world with me. Let’s keep the conversation about mental illness alive and end the stigma surrounding it!
Welcome back to Part 3 of The Many Faces of Anxiety. In Part 1 we discussed what triggers anxiety; whether it’s emotions, thoughts, situations, or an unknown reason. In Part 2 we looked into the minds of these individuals and what their anxiety looks/feels like. If you missed the first part of the series, click here to read it before moving on to Part 2.
Every person living with anxiety is unique, and there is not a “one-size-fits-all” description of what anxiety presents itself as to the individual, both mentally and physically. There is, however, one thing all these people have in common…They have found a way to live and cope with anxiety.
In this chapter of The Many Faces of Anxiety we will look at the tools and strategies used by these individuals to help themselves cope with their anxiety. No matter what methods used, the important thing is that they ARE getting help and trying their best.
Today's Question:
How Do You Manage Your Anxiety/What Methods Have Worked For You?
Today we will look at the responses and strategies from 13 individuals. I challenge you to read these responses without judgement, and try to put yourself into their position.
Although these first two responses differ from putting themselves into the chaos, to removing themselves completely, they both have 1 important thing in common: SUPPORT. It is so important to have a group or even just a person that can make you feel safe and understood.
“Very few things have helped my anxiety. The biggest help has been just facing my fears. I had to give blood several times last year due to medical issues. Before I use to pass out or come close to it every single time. Well I gave blood like 4 – 5 times last year and I never blacked out once. It wasn’t easy, music helped a ton while getting stuck. It seemed like every time I gave blood I gained a lot of ground over my anxiety. Same thing for being stuck in traffic. I went to Columbus for the Arnold this year, it got canceled :(, but I drove through tons of traffic with 3 passengers in my truck. In some places I was very uncomfortable but I made it and gained some more ground on my anxiety. That seems to have helped a lot. Also, what really helps is being intensely focused on a task at hand. I have noticed that when I am extremely focused on a task or solving a problem anxiety is of little concern. When all else fails I have an as needed medicine called Hydroxyzine (prescribed by my Doctor) that I will take if I know I am going to be in a stressful situation. It helps and will take the edge off my anxiety. So that’s what I have found that works for me, it can be a daily battle at its worst and at its best every once in a while. Many of my friends have also developed anxiety recently. Its like once we all hit 21 we began having issues. Having a strong support group of people who understand what anxiety can do helps a ton. It is important for people to realize that they are not alone in this battle.”-Dallas D.
“How I manage and what works for me is isolating myself. Rather that be a long drive with the radio up or crying it out. Sometimes I will call a friend and talk about it or just try to have a conversation with them to get my mind off of it. My sister is my rock! She helps me a lot.”-V.H.
Some find it soothing to focus on the internal thoughts, listening to devotionals or podcasts, anything to remind them of the positives in life.
“Starting each day with GRATITUDE. Reminding myself of the things in my life that I am thankful for and are benefits to my life. Meditation and/or breath work – each morning, night or just throughout the day. Also doing the work on the inside to love myself without the approval of others has helped significantly. Listening to podcasts to help with self growth and exploration (my fav is Earn Your Happy by Lori Harder) and really digging down to understand why I feel the way I do in certain aspects of my life & situations.”- Heather Riviere-Piehl
“Medication helps me manage my anxiety by calming the thoughts to a realistic level so that I can logically think things through. Therapy has been extremely helpful over the years. It helps to talk to someone who isn’t in my life that I can work through problems and get a new tools to manage anxiety. I have learned that the key to controlling my anxiety attacks is me to concentrate on my breathing. I have a few breathing techniques that help me. One that helps slow down my breath is to inhale for the count of 5, hold for 6, and exhale for 7 then repeat until my breathing is controlled. Another way to change my racing thoughts is to count. Count by 5’s, 3’s, backwards from 100 any way to concentrate on thinking about something else. Having a list of positive affirmations to read over and over again is also helpful. For example: Just because your struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing, I am loved, I am worthy, I am enough. This is only temporary, these feelings will pass. I choose to be happy. I journal my feelings, thoughts. I learned years ago not to reread my writing, for me it made me feel the anxiety over again for others it may help.”- C.W.
“I just recently started taking cbd capsules, but haven’t been taking them long enough to be able to tell if it’s helping yet. Journaling helps me, deep breathing exercises, devotionals, and listening to church services online all are my go to’s! Sometimes if it’s bad enough I just have to take a nap and wake up feeling 100% better. I have been on medication before but I try not to go there route if at all possible.”-Bethany O.
In Part 2 we saw that "lack of control" was a big trigger for peoples' anxiety. It only makes sense that some deal with their anxiety by finding the control and bringing themselves back.
“I’m in the very early stages of understanding my anxiety. I, believe it or not, have never been officially diagnosed with anxiety. Guess why? Because I have too much anxiety about going to the doctor! Sound ridiculous? Welcome to the sh*t show. I will get help; I know I need to. I’m hoping medication and therapy will become a part of my life eventually. For now I work on breathing techniques. I also talk it through out loud and decide what I can control. I also am big on using my senses. I squeeze my hands, focus on smell, what I hear, anything that will bring me back to reality. Another thing I do is plan. I have endless amounts of notebooks filled with lists, calendars, thoughts, just anything to make me feel organized and in control.”-Emily Nalbach
“I manage anxiety by making lists. Having to do lists, lists of goals, calendars of upcoming events, journaling how I’m feeling, or even doodling can help me calm my thoughts. I take Wellbutrin every day to manage anxiety as well as Xanax on an as needed basis mostly for panic attacks but I also take it if my anxiety is keeping me up at night. I feel like I am so good at controlling anxiety on my own when I can figure out what is causing it, I can calm myself down by breaking down the issue and trying to be rational (mostly writing things down and making lists, like basically making a plan to make it go away). Panic attacks for me are caused when my mind races like I have a stressor on my mind, but I can’t figure out the exact cause. General anxiety is something I have always struggled with. Panic attacks are a new thing for me beginning at age 26 in 2019, I’m always trying to find ways to manage it on my own and I’m always open to new things since it is such a recent thing in my life.”-M.D
Therapy has been one of the most popular and effective strategies used by individuals. Expressing your thoughts to a licensed professional; whether on paper, in person, or online, gives you another person in your corner to help.
“Everything I have shared boils down to one simple thing….THERAPY. Unless you have a degree in this stuff, and even then, you should really be reaching out to someone who is trained in helping you with your anxiety. As my current therapist has told me many times, tools and tricks only get you so far, and they did. They got me to a place of low-level functionality which is bigger than it sounds – ps got those from therapy too. But now we are working on addressing the causes of the anxiety with the understanding that we are not looking for the “holy-grail” solution because listen, there isn’t one, but instead are working through all the tools and techniques I have learned and developed to find the absolute cause(s) of the anxiety. Then we bring all those skills I have in my toolkit into those situations and also have tough conversations about why the anxieties are there to begin with and potential reframes. This again is something I would never be able to do without a therapist.”-Jo C.
“Exercising has been a huge help with alleviating some of my anxiety. I notice when I go a few days without lifting that I get much more antsy and anxious in general, no triggers needed. Journaling helps some too when I am consistent and keep a schedule of writing regularly. I was in therapy for a very short time (I moved and just haven’t found a new therapist) and it seemed to help some, but honestly opening up to someone and discussing my anxiety/depression really made me even more anxious. I LOVED my therapist and would plan out what I wanted to say to her before I got there and then I would be there and couldn’t bring myself to open up to her. Recently I’ve started trying to find things like meditating or yoga to try and help some. I’m still in the early stages of managing it. Looking back, I was a very anxious preteen/teen, but I grew up in the south on a dairy farm with a very conservative family that doesn’t believe in mental health so much (or at least not talking about it, maybe they do believe I don’t know).”-Carley D.
Overall, Medication was brought up more times than any other strategy. Finding the right professional to work with you, the right dosage, and the right medication can greatly help the effects of anxiety.
“Medication! I’ve been taking an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety prescription combo for a couple of years now and it’s been so helpful. It takes the edge off of both things and gives me enough space to use the skills I’ve learned in therapy to deal with things as they come up. I do breathing exercises pretty much daily as a way to calm myself and check in with my physical body. When my anxiety is triggered I practice changing my internal narrative. For me this means recognizing the intrusive thoughts that are coming up, challenging those thoughts, and then replacing those unhelpful thoughts with helpful ones. Physical movement is another huge help for me. I’ve come to realize that basically any physical activity I engage in is like a moving meditation. I’m tuned into my body, I’m focused on my breath, and I am (usually) calm. My busy mind turns off and I am living totally in the moment.”- K.K.
“In the beginning I tried all the “natural” approaches: meditation, working out, reading books about anxiety—but they didn’t really work. They would work a little but not long term in any real sustainable way. Sometimes working out would work, but if the workout wasn’t intense enough, it didn’t help me. But at the end of the day, it was talk therapy and medication that worked best for me. I’ve been on so many things: Klonopin, Prozac, Wellbutrin, among others. The medication that has absolutely been a life-saver to me has been Zoloft, it’s really taken the obsessive thoughts and just turned them down a notch. I still have them, but they aren’t as all consuming and obsessive, I can manage now with the medication, I’m at a good baseline for functioning. That for me is what I need. Also, cognitive behavioral therapy has been the best technique in terms of talk therapy for me, I think it’s very good for managing anxiety because they give you concrete steps for how to manage your anxiety, as opposed to endlessly rehashing your past.
I see myself as a creative person, so was initially very resistant to medication, thinking it would alter my brain chemistry to make me “less than” somehow. But, I realized my brain chemistry was already out of whack, and by finding the right medication, it helped me be “more than” if that makes sense. I’m much more productive and even-tempered while on medication and am happy I have embraced it. It was a long road though! I’ve suffered with major anxiety since my teen years, and only tried medication when in my mid to late 30’s, and finally found the right medication in my 40’s. It was definitely trial and error for me, and would definitely say: if you don’t like the side effects of one medication, don’t suffer through it, just try another one.”- Jennifer Moses
Mental Health needs to start being more of a conversation...
So many out there glamorize mental health by promoting self care as being going to the salon, or spending money on a shopping spree, but it’s so much more than that. Actual self care is taking care of what is inside of you. Recognizing those intrusive and obsessive thoughts. Knowing your thoughts are not you, but are there by creation of a chemical imbalance and a life-time of possibly painful situations.
Self care starts with realizing your mental battle, and beginning to find a solution to care for yourself. No matter what avenue you go down for care, just be sure to GET HELP. There’s nothing wrong with getting help, and you are perfectly “normal”. So many out there feel the same way you do, and what separates the weak from the strong is getting help.
Find a professional for therapy, medication, exercise or meditation(if that’s your route). You do not need to fight this alone, but you do need to fight it.